Baba has come into his own recently, and has become a very determined little man.
He is opinionated, he is loud, argumentative, and has developed an immense throw for when he is not happy. We have a lot of throwing going on in our house at the moment.
He is tiring, and hard work and most days I am completely drained and tired of listening to my own voice. Of repeatedly saying no and then being shouted at. Or of saying no and getting things thrown at me.
I know that he is testing the boundaries and that we will come out the other side of this, but some days, just some days I sit and wonder whether we will actually come out of it. That scares me. Some days I can’t see past this, as we battle all day. We just seem to be in a constant fight, of him not listening, screaming, shouting, throwing and hitting and me battling against him. Telling him off and putting him on the step, which does work but within minutes he has forgotten it all and started again.
In the past few weeks the days have got harder and he has got more trying, and more demanding. I know that neither of us have been 100% and that has obviously made a difference, but last night it all just got to me.
He has always gone to bed beautiful, but this last week he has screamed and shouted for about two hours, and has fought everything to go to bed. Meaning that he has not been going to bed till nine and it all got on top of me last night.
I can’t keep carrying on like this, I want the lovely boy back, not this one that kicks and screams and fights all day long. It is so hard and I hate that I feel this way about it all at the moment. But it is really hard.
Mr L is tired all the time, he is usually in bed by 8.30pm and from the minute he gets in, he sits down and I can see he is tired and in pain. So I really feel like I am doing it all at the moment and I am tired. Because Baba isn’t settling till late, nothing is getting done anywhere as I am trying to do everything after bed, and I am just too tired. Then when I finally fall into bed, I am getting a shout about 3am and the whole process is rolling out again.
When will this all stop I know it is a stage but I just want to get to the end of it now. This I am not enjoying it, it is hard and tiring and a constant battle. I want the fun times to come back so if your listening and can do this make the fun times come back.
We see snippets of them throughout the day, but I want to see more of them than the screaming, shouting and battling moments that I am seeing now. Baba has a lovely cheeky side and I love seeing that. He has a great sense of humour and a great cuddly loving side, so if these could come back I obviously don’t expect them to be around all day. But maybe just a couple of days a week having days like these would be nice!