Mar 232013
 

Loosing Rhianna didn’t just touch us, as her parents or her brother, it has affected many other people.

People don’t know what to do or how to react when you lose a child. On her anniversary we wanted to put together some thoughts from family and friends about when we lost Rhianna, we want people to understand how it affects everyone not just the people closest.

These little letters are from my own sister, some of our life long friends, some friends who are only friends with one of us, and some very new friends.

But more than anything we wanted to get across the fact that this is not a one way street that you walk down with child loss, it is very different for everyone, and if just one of these letters will help someone in ours or our friends and families situations that we were all in last year then this post has been worthwhile.

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Oct 222012
 

Tomorrow marks seven months since Rhianna Lily died. In those seven months I have developed a serious pet hate.

Easier!!

When we first lost Rhianna we were told by many many people that everything would become easier! The feelings would be easier with time, we would find the grief easier over time!

Nothing becomes easier!!

Easier is a lie!

There is no easier in our life.

It becomes different, completely and utterly different.

It isn’t easier that at seven months, we don’t have our daughter here with us sitting up, making noises and playing. Continue reading »

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May 162012
 

Little things make all the difference, they can make you smile like you haven’t smiled in a long time, or they can make you cry like you haven’t in a long time.

But the little things spring up on you and you never know when they will appear and they take you by surprise, bolting you into your feelings, and can totally knock you off your guard. As you are on your guard you spend a lot of time on your guard, just to protect yourself really, as you can’t block everything in life that will upset you. So you are on your guard.  Continue reading »

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Apr 132012
 

Telling people that your baby has died is probably the hardest thing we have ever done. I remember making the phone calls to relatives and friends when my Nan and Gran died, and I managed to keep it together for those few minutes. I knew instantly that this wouldn’t happen when I told people that Rhianna had died. It just was not going to happen.

We had the toughest challenge first, telling Baba once we pulled up my parents place.

We walked in and the hugs started. Hugs are great, I love hugs but that particular day I didn’t really want any. Hugs meant that I would cry and they also meant it was all true I didn’t really want either. It was all so raw, it was all so strange and I had this feeling that if we just didn’t tell anyone it wouldn’t really be true. I knew really that wasn’t the case but it was nice to think it was just for a moment.

While I was being hugged Mr L took Baba off to tell him what had happened, within seconds he came running into the kitchen. Eyes wide open and almost scared… Continue reading »

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